1. Now it came to pass in the third year of the reign of James,
surnamed Buchanan, and in the eleventh month of the self-same year,
2. That the people assembled themselves to vote.
3. Then came the hardy sons of Maine, and they of the tribe of
Vermont, and of New Hampshire, and of the Bay State,.
4. And of Rhode Island, and the land of patent clocks and wooden
5. And they did cast their votes by fifties, and by hundreds,
and by thousands;
6. And the people of the great States of New York and
Pennsylvania, and also New Jersey, and little Dela, flocked to the poles,
7. And the people of the South, where tobacco, and cotton, and
rice, are cultivated, and where there are many of the sons and daughters
of Ham, voted;
8. And the people of the North-West, even the Buckeyes,
Hoosiers, and Suckers; Wolverines and Hawkeyes, from all the region of
prairies, and lakes, and even beyond the Mississippi, came to the polls
and voted for Chief Ruler.
9. And the wrath of men waxed warm, and they drank cheap whisky
and lager beer, and behold their patriotism boiled over.
10. And when the sun went down, there were drunken men not a few,
and some had bloody noses and mashed mouths.
11. Then were tidings sent upon the wires, and all men everywhere
greatly desired to hear the news.
12. No man saluted his neighbor, saying, how doest thou? or is it well with thee and thy little ones? .
13. For no man cared for aught else than the result of the
14. Now when the morrow was come, and the votes had been counted,
behold Abraham was elected.
15. Then did the people of the North rejoice.
They illuminated their cities, and made orations, and sang songs,
and gave gifts one unto another.
16. Then sent they unto Horace, saying, Write us, we pray thee, a
Psalm, that we may sing and be merry
17. And Horace wrote them a Psalm, and the people sang it, and their voice was as the sound of many waters.
1. When the people of South Carolina heard that Abraham was elected, they rent their clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes..
2. And they cried on to another, saying, Alas! For us, for we
3. Then came certain together at Columbia, the capital of the
Palmetto State, and they communed one with another.
4. And they said, Let others do as they may, but as for us, we
will secede from the Union!
5. Then did they pull down the old flag, even the flag of their
fathers, the flag that had protected them in their infancy, and had made
the country prosperous and happy.
6. And they tore the flag into fragments and trode upon it.
7. And they said, let no man henceforth celebrate the fourth of
July, for behold the Union is dissolved.
8. And South Carolina seceded from the Union, and her wise men
left Washington and went each man to his own house.
9. When the other States of the South, heard that South Carolina
had seceded, they were sore vexed.
10. For they said, South Carolina is our Sister; Her people are
bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh, and our souls do cleave unto her.
11. Abraham will send and armed host to subdue her, and burn up
her cities, and lay waste her rice-fields, and carry away her negroes;
12. Let us arise and secede, and join with South Carolina, and
build up a great Southern Confederacy
13. And we will have a President, and a Congress of our own, and
no more depend upon the "Yankees" of the North;
14. We will no more send them our cotton, or tobacco, or rice;
nor will we ever buy goods of them again;
15. For the days of patent clocks, and nutmeg gritters, and
Yankee school ma'ams, are at an end.
16. Then did Alabama and Mississippi, and Georgia, and Florida,
and Louisiana, and Texas secede from the Union;
17. And they seized upon the Forts and Arsenals of the South, and
the guns, and cannon, and all the implements of war.
18. And there was great commotion among the people; for there
were many that loved the Union, and were loth to give up the government of
19. For they said where shall we find a better? Have we not
prospered? Has not our domain
extended until it reaches from ocean to ocean? and have we not grown to be
great among the nations of the earth?
20. But the friends of Secession, answered and said Ye speak as
fools and not as wise men. Know
ye not that Abraham is elected, and that he will have a free- soil
cabinet? His administration
will do nothing for the South, but much against it, and we will no submit
21. And the friends of the Union, said, We did not vote for
Abraham, and lament that he was elected; but we know that he cannot do as
much hurt, if we remain in the Union.
The Constitution and the laws will protect us.
22. Then were the Secessionists angry, and they said, ye are no
friends to the South. if you
speak thus. They are not for us are against us.
23. And they sent out a proclamation into all the land of the
South, for all who loved the old flag, and did not wish to see it
demolished to remove from the South in forty days.
24. Then were there lamentation and great sorrow; for men were
compelled to leave their homes, and the ashes of kindred and loved ones,
25. And to become exiles and strangers, and wanderers in forests
and desert places, and caves of the earth, and dens.
26. Now, there were Vigilant Committees in all the South, and
they ceased not night and day to seek after all that loved the Union, and
to cast them into prison.
27. Some they tarred and feathered; they shaved the heads of some; and they beat some, and some they hanged to a tree.
1. These were but the beginning of sorrow, for the times grew
worse and worse, until no one in all the land of Dixie, dared to speak in
behalf of the land of his fathers.
2. Now, when James had served his full time, Abraham came to the
Federal city, and delivered a great oration, and became the Chief Ruler of
3. Then came there Commissioners from the South, and they said
unto him, Let there be no strife between thee and us, for behold all we
4. Let us, we pray thee, separate peaceably; and we will build
up a great nation, and be friends, and trade together, and get great gain.
5. But Abraham said, nay, but I have sworn to support the
Constitution, and cannot give up so much of the soil of this Union, as a
dove may need for her feet! I will not allow you to secede from the Union!
6. Then the Commissioners from the South, arose and departed
from Abraham, and brought word to their friends.
7. And they said, we have a war with Abraham, for he will not
allow us to secede.
8. Then Abraham sent his proclamation into all the land, calling
for 75,000 spearmen, and horsemen and footmen, and archers and slingers,
to gather themselves together to suppress the Great Rebellion.
9. Now, Arkansas, Tennessee, North Carolina, and Virginia had
not seceded, but still clave to the Union;
10. But when they saw that Abraham was collecting an army to
subdue their brethren of the South, their wrath was kindled;
11. And when he sent unto the Governor's of these States for aid
against the South, they would not furnish it.
12. And these States seceded from the Union, and joined
themselves unto South Carolina, and the other Southern States
13. About this time a meeting of the mighty men of the South was
held at Montgomery, which is a city of no mean repute in Alabama.
14. And these mighty men of the South did proceed to form a
provisional government, which they called the Confederate States of
America, and they chose that city for the capital.
15. Now, there was one Jefferson whose surname was Davis, f the
tribe of Mississippi. He was
a valiant man, for he had been in the Mexican War, and had married Gen.
16. He was a member of the great Sanhedrim at Washington, as
Senator from his own tribe, and he was opposed to Abraham, and greatly in
favor of Secession.
17. Him they chose for Provisional President of the Confederate
States, and he made an oration to the people and greatly encouraged them.
18. And they fell upon their faces, and for the space of three
hours ceased not to cry. "Hurrah!
Jeff. Davis and the South."
19. And Jefferson chose wise men to be his counsellors, and
appointed Brigadier and Major-Generals for the army.
20. And the whole country was stirred up, and prepared to go to
War. It was the theme by day,
and the song by night.
21. Grave Senators and Reverend Division made orations, and urged
the people to rise up and discard the government of their fathers.
22. Farmers abandoned their furrowed fields, and caused their
pruning hooks to be made into Bowie knives, and their lands lay idle, and
brought forth nothing to support man and beast.
23. Mechanics left their shops, teachers gave up their schools,
colleges closed their doors, ministers came down from their pulpits, and
all prepared themselves to go forth to war;
24. And Jefferson commanded to send men through all the land to
seize all the rifles, and shot-guns, and muskets, and pistols, and Bowie
25. And all that were cunning workmen, wrought day and night, in
mending and making guns, and knives and swords, and drums;
26. And the women through all the region of the South, made flags having on them, "the Stars and Bars," and they made clothes for the soldiers, and haversacks, and they gave them blankets, and bread, and much wine.
1. Now, it came to pass, that when Abraham heard of the doings
of the South, that his wrath was kindled.
2. And he commanded all the mails to Dixie to cease, so that no
one could send a letter to the South, or to the North.
3. And he sent his ships of war to blockade all the Southern
ports, that no ships from England or France could go to them with bread or
wine, or great guns or powder, or percussion caps;
4. And Abraham gave commandment, that no ship from the South
should go out upon the sea, to carry cotton to other lands or to bring
5. Then did Jefferson and the men of the South, send abroad in
all the land, to the merchants and others who were indebted to the people
of the North, greeting;
6. And commanded them that they should not pay them any silver
or gold, or bank-bills, or cotton, or corn, or wine;
7. But all that were indebted to the North were commanded to make payment to the Confederate States, and all property in the South, belonging to men of the North, was confiscated..
8. Now, the tribe of Virginia was very ancient, and it reached
from the sea toward the West, even to the Ohio river;
9. And this tribe was rich in tobacco, and wheat, and barley,
and lambs' wool;
10. And, moreover, it had many great ships, and banks of money,
and manufacturers without number;
11. And the schools and colleges of Virginia were of great
renown, so that there were none like them upon the face of the whole
12. And the sons of Virginia were brave, and her daughters were
fair and beautiful to look upon.
13. And there were scholars, and orators, and poets, and mighty
statesmen in Virginia.
14. It was in Virginia, that Washington, the father of his
country was born, and his ashes repose upon her bosom.
15. It was in Virginia, that Patrick Henry, surnamed the
eloquent, was born, and lived, and died.
16. It was in Virginia, that Madison, and Jefferson, and Tyler,
and Wirt, and John Randolph lived; for Virginia was called the
"Mother of Presidents."
17. It was in Virginia, that John Brown ended his eventful
18. It was in Virginia, especially such as belonged to the
"first families" thereof, were haughty, and walked with
out-stretched necks and made a mincing with their feet.
19. Now, it grieved the people of Virginia, that they had not
elected a President from that tribe, and they murmured at the South
because of this.
20. Then Jefferson called together his wise men, and sooth-sayers, and astrologers, and horse-doctors, and advised them to conciliate Virginia, by locating the Capital of the Confederacy at Richmond their chief city..
21. And the saying pleased the wise men, and they commanded that
Richmond should be the capital.
22. And Jefferson, and his counsellors and mighty men arose and
went unto Richmond, and there they abode.
23. And they, issued bills of credit, which the people called
"Confederate money," and Jefferson gave commandment, to cast
into prison, any many who should refuse to accept this money in the
payment of debts due to him.
24. And behold the land was flooded with Confederate money, for it was more plentiful than ever the locusts were in Egypt.
1. Meanwhile Abraham was collecting a mighty host.
There were captains of fifties, and captains of hundreds, and
colonels, and majors and brigadiers without number.
2. And Abraham set over all these, Winfield, whose surname was
Scott. Winfield was an old
man, well stricken in years, and his locks were as lambs wool.
3. He was like unto Saul in stature, and was known in all the
earth for his skill in war, for he had been in war in Mexico, and was a
4. Winfield had command of all Abraham's army, and resolved to
march to Richmond, and to seize Jefferson and all his wise men.
5. When Jefferson heard what Winfield wished to
do, he collected a great army near Richmond.
6. In this army, he had many thousands from the South and also
from Virginia, and all parts of the Southern Confederacy.
7. Now, there was a certain man, named Beauregard, of French
decent, and he dwelt in the tribe of Louisiana.
He was a man of great discretion and valor, and well skilled in all
the arts of the war.
8. Him Jefferson had made a Major-General, and placed him over
9. Now there is a place in Virginia, where two railroads meet,
and there are mountains on each side, so that an army cannot go round to
the right or the left.
10. And this place is on the main road as one goes from
Washington City to Richmond, and a great creek flows hard by, which is
called in the Anglo-Saxon, Bull Run, but in the English tongue, it is
called Manassas Gap.
11. Here Gen. Beauregard resolved to make a stand, and fight with
12. And Winfield knew Gen. Beauregard, for the latter had served
as a lieutenant under Winfield, in the Mexican War, and Winfield knew that
he was brave and well skilled in all that pertains to war.
13. But Winfield said to himself, Behold I am a veteran, a hero
even of two wars; what need I care for this Gaul, who in comparison, is a
mere strippling? I will go
forth against him, and vanquish him, and march into Richmond.
14. And it came to pass in the first year of the reign of
Abraham, and in the seventh month, and on the twenty-first day of the
self-same month, Winfield marched forth is mighty hosts against Beauregard.
15. Then came there many from Washington, both men and women, to
see the great battle, and they stood afar off, and looked on.
16. And the battle commenced in the morning, and it waxed warm,
and the roar of the artillery, and of small arms, and the tumult of
battle, was great;
17. And many were the slain in each army, and the blood ran in
rivulets, and the ground was covered with the fallen slain,
18. And when it was now past noon, reinforcements came to the
Confederates, and they fought with great valor, and Winfield's forces gave
way, and fled;
19. And the Confederates pursued them, and slew a great multitude of them, and captured many..
20. Then was Winfield sore vexed, for he was an old man, and had
fought many battles, and had never been defeated before;
21. And great fear fell upon them of Washington, lest the
Confederates should come and burn up their city, and destroy the capital
of the nation'
22. And the Confederates took captive some of those who were
spectators of the fight, and carried them to Richmond, and cast them into
23. Then were the Confederates greatly elated, because Winfield
had been defeated, and they gave great praises to Beauregard and those who
were with him, in the great battle of Manassas.
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